


Assessment

by easilydistractedbyfanfic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 05:55:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15066626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easilydistractedbyfanfic/pseuds/easilydistractedbyfanfic
Summary: assessment (n.)the act of judging or assessing a person or situation or eventRaven Reyes thinks about her decisionsTakes place after 5x07





	Assessment

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place right after 5x07  
> This is Murven the way I want them - snark & sentimentality, and lots of alone time so they can figure out they’re crazy about each other!  
> Rated explicit/adult. Don’t own anything and this plot is full of tropes and curse words, because FUN.  
> All mistakes are my own

Raven Reyes was having a shit couple of days, and she was getting damn tired of it. It’s late, and she lays on an uncomfortable cot in an old church building in the Shallow Valley, along with a handful of others who the Eligius crew has deemed as not-yet-trustworthy. Between the metal shock collar that chafes her neck and the countless thoughts running through her head, there’s no way she can sleep even though she wishes she could. 

 

She spent so much time up in space fantasizing about what things would be like when they got to the ground again, but she’d never imagined any scenarios like this. During the six years they were all together on the Ring, she’d actually managed to forget most of the drama and stress that they’d previously experienced on Earth, but it had come rushing right back to her these last few days and her brain was still trying to work out how to handle it all. 

 

_ Right, Raven - take a deep breath and assess the problems as they currently exist,  _ she told herself. Okay, yeah, she could do that, she was good at that. The current issue at the top of her list was the little chat she’d had with Echo before lights-out. She had felt incredibly betrayed and conflicted when Echo had not abided by her demand to give her more time with Shaw, and her indignation had not lessened when she saw Shaw get dumped into the building earlier, clearly having been beat up and now essentially a prisoner himself. She had felt a lot of guilt at ratting him out to Diyoza, and was content to place the blame for that on Echo’s shoulders. She had taken such offense at Echo’s actions that she had rebuffed her friend when Echo had clearly made an attempt to talk, but she should have known that Echo wouldn’t give up that easily. Later that night when Raven had made her way back to the building after using the facilities that had been set up as a bathroom outside, Echo had made her move and pounced on her. 

 

“I know you’re pissed, but you’ve got to hear me out.” Echo had demanded. Raven shrugged off the hand Echo had grasped her arm with, and started to stalk back towards the steps that led up to their temporary prison, but Echo anticipated that and moved in to stop her. 

 

“No, Echo, I’m not interested in anything you have to say right now, and if you’re smart, you won’t push me!” Raven spit out. 

 

“I don’t care if you don’t want to hear it, Raven, but you’re going to listen anyway.” And while she spoke, Echo dragged Raven over to a small stand of trees at the side of the building that would give them some cover if anyone happened to look their way. “Look, I get it - I went against your wishes and not only did that make you furious with me, but my decision hurt someone that you view as a potential ally around here. You asked me to give you time, but even if had wanted to, I couldn’t do that, Raven, and you know it!”

 

Raven refused to meet Echo’s eyes. Logically, she knew Echo had a point, but she wasn’t used to people ignoring her opinion. “Echo - you could have let me talk to Shaw more! I know he’s on our side and he could have found a way to help us get into their computers!”

 

“You’re probably right. Maybe Shaw would have found a way, but that would have meant more time would have passed and I couldn’t bet on that. Raven, you know Bellamy and Monty were waiting for us to get them eyes over here, and the longer we took to do it, the more danger they could have been in and the greater the possibility that we’d get caught with that chip. I’m not going to take that chance, not even when it’s you who was asking me to. I hope you can understand that… and I have to be honest, I don’t get why you were willing to risk our friends for the sake of this guy, Shaw, who might not even prove to be useful to us.” Echo stared uncompromisingly at her, and Raven struggled to answer, because she wasn’t even sure how to explain it herself. 

 

“I can’t explain it, other than to say that I just feel like if we give Shaw a chance, he could really come through for us. I watched him on that video when the Eligius was taken over and my instincts say he’s not like the rest of them.” Raven shrugged. 

 

Echo was silent for a few moments, then sighed. “Raven, I hope you know what you’re doing. Shaw might not be as bad as the rest of some of these people, but you told me yourself that his actions were why you and Murphy got tortured. You and Murphy could have died! He looked like shit when we found him in the woods, and he was really worried about leaving you behind! And from the looks of both of you, I don’t think Shaw stopped that torture very quickly, you know… It seems to me that it’s pretty likely Shaw would be in the loop when it comes to the missiles that Diyoza has too - it’s hard to imagine that he’s going to go against everyone he knows and his place in this group just for someone he’s only just met. You might want to believe the best in people, but I’ve got to go with what I know - and what I know is that I’ll do what I need to do to protect who I care about, even if it means you won’t forgive me for it.” Echo smiles sadly, an eyebrow arched as if to dare Raven to deny it. 

 

Raven inhaled sharply. When faced with Echo’s perspective, it did sound like she was being the unreasonable one, when Echo’s quick actions clearly were the best choice to protect their friends. She could admit that maybe she’d been too emotionally involved, so she reached for Echo’s hand and squeezed it tightly for a moment. “I’m sorry, Echo, I let some of my own personal stuff get in the way of the goal, and I’m glad you kept focused. We’re good - no hard feelings on my part, okay?” She grinned at Echo to show her sincerity and was pleased when Echo smiled back at her.  

 

Raven had then gone inside, and Echo had followed a little while later. Diyoza had a pretty strict lights-out policy in place for the defector’s group, so it wasn’t long until everyone made their way to their cots for the night. As Raven replayed the conversation in her head, she felt unsettled again at how her behavior looked through Echo’s eyes. By asking for more time in order to involve Shaw in the plans to get to a computer, she could see now that it would have added a day, maybe even two, to the process, and that was time that they all just didn’t have. Why had she done that? It wasn’t like her to rule out the most direct solution to a problem, and yet that was essentially what she had done. She rolled over on the cot, trying to get more comfortable as she considered her actions. 

 

She’d told Echo the truth about her impression of Shaw, but it wasn’t just based on what she’d seen on the Eligius video during the hostile takeover of the past crew. She’d also seen it after Shaw had forced McCreary out of the cell at gunpoint after the torture session. She’d been so desperate to get to Murphy right away that she hadn’t noticed it at first, but when Shaw confessed that  _ he _ had been the one behind locking out the missiles, she saw a spark of guilt in him and knew that she could talk him into helping them, if she could just have the time to convince him. And he’d gone through with it, he’d helped get Murphy out even though that damn shock collar was still on him, and Raven had felt such utter relief that Murphy was going to be out of the reach of McCreary and she knew she felt grateful to Shaw for that. Was she letting her gratitude unduly influence her opinion of Shaw? Maybe… She remembered telling Murphy & Shaw about her ‘better plan’, and Shaw didn’t disagree, although Murphy sure had. When she told them that her plan meant that Murphy would escape and she’d stay behind, she was recalling the glint of absolute madness that McCreary had in his eyes while holding that knife to Murphy’s neck. She would have done anything in that moment to keep him safe, and if she really had been behind the computer lock-out, she would have confessed to McCreary right then without a second thought. So when an idea started to formulate that would get Murphy away from McCreary and back to their friends, Raven definitely felt it was a win-win. Murphy, however, had absolutely refused to leave her behind and it was only when Raven wouldn’t back down and Shaw had sided with her that Murphy had started to at least consider it as an option. So yeah, there was gratitude, alright. 

 

And as much as it made her feel a little embarrassed, there was also an appreciation for Shaw’s intelligence when it came to all the hacking maneuvers they’d gone back and forth on. No doubt, her friends were all clever, but often in their own specialties and it had been a long time since she’d had someone to challenge her in that particular way. It did give her a bit of a thrill to have to think on her feet and stay one step ahead of the then unknown operator on the other end of the computer. But did gratitude & a grudging respect for tech skills explain why she had been so quick to want to bring him into her circle? Partly, she guessed… but as she stretched out her legs on the cot, she knew it went even deeper still. 

 

_ Okay, Raven, if we’re gonna do this whole self-reflection thing instead of sleep, better at least be honest about it,  _ she thought to herself. Her urge to involve him in their plan could also be traced to the fact that she found him attractive. There, she’d confessed to it. She found Shaw appealing when she got around to actually noticing - at first she was pretty distracted by the torture he was present for, and come to think of it, what did that say about HER, that she could be attracted to someone that had been involved in that? Echo was right that Shaw hadn’t stopped it immediately - and she had obviously been suffering. Was it wrong of her to find him attractive after that? She wasn’t sure what it meant about the kind of person she was, but she was inclined to be a little easy on herself this time around. Being in space for six years had given her a lot of time to get to know Harper, Monty, Emori, Echo, Bellamy and Murphy, but it had also given her a lot of time to know herself too. Yeah, she could hold a grudge sometimes, but for the most part she was a pretty forgiving person - holding on to negativity wasn’t what she wanted and it made more sense to let things go and reach for happiness instead. She grinned to herself, thinking about Sinclair and how he had been such a big influence on her to help teach her that outlook. So she guessed it was pretty quick that she’d moved past Shaw’s role in her and Murphy’s torture, but she hadn’t honestly forgotten it either. 

 

She realized that the reality of her situation was that she was a young woman who had been celibate for far too long and she couldn’t help who she was attracted to. And no, she didn’t deliberately choose it, but she is attracted to Shaw. Selfishly, maybe she was thinking less about her friends and more about the opportunity to spend time with Shaw trying to come up with a plan together. She wasn’t proud of her actions upon reflection, but she could concede that she had been thinking with her libido and not with her brain. And no matter how inviting she found Shaw, she wouldn’t let that happen again, not when there was so much at stake. She punched the sad excuse for a pillow on her cot and rolled to her side, determined to shut off her brain and get some sleep. 

 

*****************

 

The next day passed slowly. Raven made several attempts to talk to Shaw but made no real progress with him. He was understandably angry with her and once she had realized Echo’s actions were the right call, she was sorry he’d been hurt but couldn’t be sorry that they’d accomplished the goal of accessing the computer system. She was hopeful that Monty was using the information they now could access to create a plan to both rescue her and Echo, as well as to find a way to undermine Diyoza and her hold on Shallow Valley. From what Raven could see, Clarke had sure made a beautiful home here for herself and the young girl, Madi. Echo had told her briefly that Clarke had spent the years on Earth alongside Madi, and she couldn’t wait to meet her. Finding out that Clarke had been alive this whole time had amazed her, and she was so relieved that Clarke hadn’t been alone while her friends had been in space together and her mom had been underground. When she and Murphy had heard Clarke’s voice over the comms, she could scarcely believe it was real. She had carried such guilt about Clarke during the long duration they were in space - she honestly felt that if the group hadn’t had to come back to Becca’s lab to get her, maybe Clarke would have had enough time to climb the tower and make it back safely. She and Bellamy had both grieved for Clarke on the Ring, but Raven’s sadness was always tinged with guilt, especially when she saw how difficult it was for Bellamy. 

 

But now, knowing Clarke was alive and they were finally all on Earth again together... Raven was looking forward to the future more than she had in a long time. If anyone could come up with a plan to save them all, it would be Clarke and Bellamy. And, she grinned to herself, she’d probably be able to add a few details to it once they retrieved her and Echo. Her fingers itched to get to work on building things and repairing what was broken. 

 

Raven decided to see if she would be allowed to go over to the structure that Abby was using as a medical clinic. She had been thrilled to see both Kane & Abby in the camp, even though she knew they were prisoners just like she was. If she was lucky, maybe she could get a chance to talk to Abby and see if they had any idea what the next steps would be. She spoke to the guard at the top of the steps and was pleased to see him nod when she made her request. He pointed to Abby’s hut, which was at the edge of the woods, farther away from the main camp and outbuildings. Raven walked slowly over, happy to take in the scenery and how beautiful everything was. The scents of the grass and trees surrounded her, and she could see flowers and berry bushes growing all around. There were bushes with purple berries growing alongside the foundation of the clinic, and Raven hoped they’d turn out to be edible. Even if they ended up being sour, they had to beat algae! No doubt about it, the environment was certainly idyllic, and Raven couldn’t help but hope nothing would happen to it in the absurd fight for dominance that was currently underway between all the survivors. 

 

Raven climbed up the steps and carefully opened the door. “Abby? Are you here?” She glanced around the small space, taking in the various medical equipment that was accumulating inside, probably brought over from the ship that had brought Raven and Murphy to the ground. 

 

“Raven, is that you?” Abby called out as she came out from behind a screen that had been arranged in the back corner of the room. “What a nice surprise!” She moved towards Raven and embraced her, much as she had in the moments they first saw each other when Raven had been escorted through the camp. 

 

“I was wondering if you might like some company?” Raven pulled back slightly and smiled shyly at Abby. 

 

“From you? Always!” Abby laughed, and turned back towards a table along the side wall. “Will you help me disinfect the equipment over here and we can catch up?”

 

“Gladly! I’m going crazy without something for my hands to do!” joked Raven. “So tell me - were you able to actually speak real words when you saw Clarke or were you as stunned as I was to hear she was alive?”

 

Abby turned towards Raven, and suddenly there were tears in her eyes. Raven reached over and clenched Abby’s hand tightly. “I never let myself think that she hadn’t survived, but still… to see her there in front of me after so long...it was like a dream.” Abby sniffed, a few tears trailing down her face. 

 

Raven’s eyes were bright too. “I know, I couldn’t believe it at first either. I heard her voice come over the comms and I could barely say anything. Abby, for so long I’d grieved for her - I really thought she was gone -” Raven abruptly broke off and sobbed. Abby carefully folded Raven in her arms again, rubbing her back gently. 

 

“I know, I know. It’s okay, Raven. We’ve got her back now and as soon as we can, we’ll all be together again. I’m not going to let anything prevent that from happening. We’ve all been through so much.” She handed Raven a tissue and Raven blotted her eyes and laughed. 

 

“Listen to me, getting all mushy! I actually didn’t come here to have a good cry, if you can believe it! Let’s get these instruments cleaned up and you can tell me what’s happened to you and Kane these last few years. I hope you guys had better food options than space algae!” Raven jested and moved towards the table again and didn’t notice Abby’s shoulders stiffen. 

 

Abby strode over to Raven’s left and picked up a pair of surgical scissors. “Besides not being a fan of the food, it must have been hard to be in the Ring again after having had time on Earth, wasn’t it?” 

 

Raven looked thoughtful for a moment and opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a scratching noise coming from somewhere near the floor. She looked briefly at Abby, eyebrows lifted in surprise. Abby gestured for Raven to keep talking as she passed her a scalpel and moved towards the sound. Raven babbled about what she missed on the ground while she tiptoed closer, and together the two women watched as a small section of the floor started to rise. They exchanged a quick glance of trepidation before preparing for attack. 

 

“Raven? I know you’re in here, where are you?” a hushed voice murmured, and an agile body stretched through the small opening, stood up and turned around. 

 

“Murphy!” Raven gasped, and launched herself across the room at him. He caught her and encircled her tightly in his arms, and Raven fiercely hugged him back, elated to see him. He smelled like grass and wood smoke and fresh air and  _ Murphy _ and there was an undeniable relief within her that he was okay and had actually made it back to her. 

 

Refusing to let him go, Raven erupted with questions. “What are you doing here? Are you okay? How did you find me? What’s the plan? Let me look at you!” She wriggled backwards slightly and tilted her chin up to gaze at him. He still had bruises everywhere, including a black eye and a split lip. “Oh, your poor face.” She grimaced in empathy. 

 

“I don’t know, I think it makes me look kind of dangerous.” He quipped. And then there it was, that Murphy smirk that she had come to know so well, and it was only on seeing it now that she realized how close she’d come to losing him. Raven tugged him down towards her again and rested her cheek on his shoulder. 

 

“I was worried about you.” She murmured. And she felt his arms clench more snugly around her and his voice was low in her ear as he spoke. “I was worried about you, too.” Raven sighed, content to stay where she was for the moment, but then she and Murphy both heard a throat clearing behind them and turned in tandem to address Abby, who had a bemused look on her face as she took them both in. 

 

“John, I was so happy to hear you had made it up to space with Raven and Bellamy and the rest of your friends. It’s good to see you.” Abby gently pulled Murphy into a hug, and Raven was glad to see that Murphy returned it with genuine affection. 

 

“Abby, it’s nice to see you, too. Clarke told me to give you her love.”

 

“You’ve seen Clarke?” Abby exclaimed. “When? Is she okay?”

 

“She was fine, last I saw her. Before I tell you both what’s going on, I don’t want to get caught in here. You two make yourselves busy over near that screen in the corner - I’ll go behind it and fill you in, just in case someone comes in the door.”

 

Raven and Abby scrambled to follow Murphy’s directions, both of them anxious to hear the latest news. Abby pulled a cart closer to the screen and she and Raven picked up some of the medical tools again to disinfect, and Murphy gave them his update. 

 

“Raven, Echo probably told you that they found me in the woods, but the shock collar didn’t allow me outside a certain range of the forest. So I sent the rest of them on to warn Bellamy about the missiles but Emori stayed with me to help get the collar off. She figured out a way to do it but not until after we already had McCreary and a few others on our tail.”

 

A dismayed sound came from Raven’s throat, and Murphy met her eyes. “Don’t worry - we took a page from your book and used some of the remaining rocket fuel to make a bomb. We thought we might have killed them all, but McCreary was only unconscious, not dead.” Raven released the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. McCreary was beyond treacherous and she wouldn’t regret him coming to any harm. 

 

Murphy held her gaze. “I wanted to kill him, but Emori convinced me we could use him as a hostage.” Raven swallowed hard. She knew Murphy, too, was remembering that frightening and horrific torture session. She still felt it sometimes, buzzing painfully through her nervous system, and sometimes at night the image of the knife pressed to Murphy’s throat flashed among her dreams. 

 

Her hand floated up towards the collar still around her neck, but before she touched it, it sank back down to the table. Murphy clenched his jaw and then looked towards Abby. “Emori and I managed to get McCreary back to Polis as a hostage, and that’s where I saw Clarke. Bellamy told me what had been going on there and that Echo had defected to Shallow Valley. Clarke drew me a map and told me about the trap door in the floor of this hut and when I saw that you were both inside, I snuck out of the woods to get in here. We made a plan and it starts now. I’m here to take you back to Polis, Raven.”

 

“What, wait, right now?” Raven was feeling somewhat dazed. “I still have this collar! Kane and Abby and Echo are still here. And Shaw, I can’t leave him here, Murphy, despite what he did.”

 

Murphy’s gaze was hard. “Emori showed me how to disable the collar, and this isn’t going to be negotiable. Clarke, Bellamy and I actually agreed on something for once - that you’re too valuable a hostage to stay here. At any hint of action by Wonkru, Diyoza won’t hesitate to use that brain of yours to outsmart everyone, Raven, and you know it! They need Abby to cooperate with them - they won’t harm her or Kane because of that. But Diyoza knows you and I were alone together on the Eligius, and she knows you’re involved somehow with Clarke and Bellamy too - they’ll use you against us and we won’t risk that.”

 

Abby pleaded with her. “He’s right, Raven - Diyoza needs me and she’s developed an… interest in Kane. She knows if something happens to him, I won’t help them. We’re relatively safe here because of that, but you’re not. You need to go with Murphy.” 

 

“But we can’t leave Echo behind! She won’t even know what happened to me if I leave right now.” Raven bit her lip, attempting to think of yet another plan that wouldn’t involve leaving someone behind this time. 

 

Murphy straightened his shoulders and faced her with an uncompromising set to his chin. “Reyes. We can have Abby inform Echo somehow if it’s really bothering you, but even if I have to gag you and throw you over my shoulder, I’m taking you out of here. Clarke warned me not to let you try any of this sacrificial bullshit of yours and I won’t ever be leaving you behind again. Put your emotions aside for a moment and  _ think. _ You know this is the right call. So get over here and let me take that collar off you.”

 

Raven struggled to keep her face neutral. Of course, she knew Murphy could be just as stubborn as she was, but she could see that this time, there would be no prodding him to come around to her point of view, no matter how hard she tried. He was firmly and thoroughly convinced that his way was the best way, and she could either waste time arguing or accept that maybe he and Abby - and Clarke and Bellamy too, she supposed - were actually right. 

 

“Fine.” She huffed, and strode over to where Murphy was concealed behind the screen. “Let’s get this collar off of me then.”

 

Murphy regarded her a bit distrustfully. “I thought it would be a lot harder than that to convince you. I must be more persuasive than I thought.” She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, but she couldn’t help the small smile that crept over her face at his words. 

 

“Don’t expect it to be a regular occurance.” She sassed, and lifted the hair from the back of her neck so it was held away from the collar. “Do you know what you’re doing or should I brace myself for a few shocks?”

 

She almost laughed out loud at the wounded look on Murphy’s face. “Hey, I can do things! I just have to want to do them. Now get ready to owe me a huge apology.” And he pulled a few tools from a pocket in his pants and leaned closer to her. She could feel his warm breath on her neck as he carefully removed the cover, and his left hand came to rest firmly on her shoulder as he helped hold her still. She peeked up at Murphy from under her lashes and felt a fluttering in her stomach at the fierce gleam in his eyes. Raven concentrated on breathing in and out calmly, and slowly her own eyes drifted shut. 

 

After what couldn’t have been more than ten minutes, Raven heard the collar click open and she took her first deep breaths in what felt like ages. She felt Murphy’s hand move briefly to the back of her neck where the chafing felt the worst and he softly smoothed his fingers over the redness there. She leaned in to his touch, enjoying the sensation until he seemed to remember himself and jerked his hand away, focusing instead on putting his tools back in his pocket. 

 

“Thanks, Murphy. You were right - I shouldn’t have questioned your ability to get that off without killing me.” Raven teased. 

 

Murphy’s eyebrow rose in her direction. “Damn. First you agree to follow my instructions instead of your own, and now you’re admitting that I was right about something - we’d better get out of here before you jinx everything.” He then got very serious, and turned to Abby. “If we’re lucky, we’ll have some time before anyone comes looking for her. I want you to tell them that she discovered this trap door, and despite your best attempts to stop her, she went through it to try and escape. They’ll be angry that you didn’t tell them right away but I don’t think they’ll come down too hard on you because they want you to keep cooperating with them. If you can manage to get word to Echo without being obvious, let her know that Raven’s with me and we have a plan. Echo knows how to take care of herself. I can’t say how soon we’ll be back, but keep watch for us.” Abby nodded and reached out to squeeze Raven’s hand. 

 

Murphy then turned towards Raven and his tone is firm. “I don’t want them to know anyone’s with you, Raven, so when we crawl under the floor and get to the woods, I want you to step  _ exactly  _ where I do. I’ll change my stride to accommodate yours until we get farther away from the camp. When they notice you’re gone, Diyoza will send less people after you if she thinks you’re on your own. They’ll underestimate you anyway, but our odds will be even better if they don’t realize you’ve got a partner. Got it? Step in my footprints.” 

 

Raven found herself taken aback by the confidence Murphy was displaying. It wasn’t that she didn’t have faith in him, because she knew he actually had hidden depths. But this was a far cry from the guy who had isolated himself on the Ring so recently and did his best to push them all away. She tilted her head up and replied. “Okay, got it.”

 

“Take these.” Murphy bent down and pushed up one leg of his pants, revealing a sharp knife with a strong handle strapped to his calf. He handed it to her and then reached for his waistband where he removed a small gun from a holder there, and passed that to her as well. “Don’t use the gun unless it’s a last resort. Let’s go.” He ambled over to the trap door and dropped to his stomach as he lifted it slightly and looked through the crack. Assured that nothing was disturbed, he stood and reached for Raven’s arm to help her step down. 

 

Raven’s eyes swept to Abby’s, who had moved closer to say goodbye, and she gave her a quick one-armed hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Be careful, Abby. I’ll see you soon.” And then she awkwardly climbed under the floor, disappearing from view. 

 

Murphy moved to follow her, but Abby’s hand on his forearm stopped him. Abby’s eyes were knowing as she implored him. “Keep her safe, John.”

 

Murphy didn’t flinch under her gaze. He nodded brusquely and in a low voice, replied “I will.”. 

 

****************************

 

Raven didn’t know how long they’d been moving through the woods. They hadn’t stopped at all since they had made it to the edge of the forest behind Abby’s medical hut. Raven had painstakingly stepped in Murphy’s shallow footprints until he’d finally whispered that she could adjust her stride to her own. She was out of breath and her leg was aching - being stuck as a prisoner in a small camp hadn’t allowed for much exercise and she could feel that her body wasn’t as limber as it had been on the Ring, with daily workouts or sparring instruction from Echo. 

 

“Here, behind this trunk, we can take a short break.” Murphy gestured to a large tree that would effectively cover their backs if they sat or stood against it, and Raven immediately slid down to the ground with a groan. She hadn’t noticed it before, but Murphy shrugged a small pack off his back and pulled out a canteen of water. Raven reached for it and eagerly took a deep gulp, so thirsty that she didn’t care how greedy she looked. 

 

Murphy shook his head at her and drawled, “Guess that means you might be hungry too?” and passed her a small paper covered bundle. Raven’s fingers quickly unwrapped it and to her delight found a red apple. She immediately took a big bite, and mouth full, she practically hummed with pleasure. “Oh my god, this is fantastic! So much better than algae! Here, Murphy, take a bite!” and she held out the shiny apple towards him. 

 

Murphy hesitated but then gingerly leaned forward and pressed his mouth over her own teeth marks, all the while never losing eye contact with her. Her hand trembled for a moment, and she had a sudden compulsion to use her thumb to wipe a droplet of the apple’s juice from his bottom lip. She squelched down the impulse and smiled at him instead, getting her bearings back. “If I knew you had this apple in your pack, I would have been willing to come with you right away.”

 

“I should’ve known you’d be motivated by food. I’ll remember that the next time I want something from you.” Was she reading into things or did that comment feel like Murphy might be toying with her? Raven felt off-kilter, so she looked down at the apple in her hand and quietly took another bite. She could feel Murphy watching her from the corner of her eye. 

 

After a few moments passed in silence, Murphy announced “It won’t be much longer. There are a lot of caves around here. We’ll make it look like we’ve gone into one of them in case someone manages to track us, but I don’t want to get boxed in. When I was heading towards you, I found a large fallen tree that should make a decent shelter for us, with a little work. It’ll give us more options for escape if we need it.”

 

“Are we going to be here a while?” Raven was glad to be free of the collar, but there was something to be said for clean water, showers and plentiful food back in Diyoza’s camp. She handed the canteen back and watched Murphy swallow his own gulp before he pushed the container into the satchel. 

 

“Naw, we just have to stick it out for a day or two until it’s the window Clarke gave me for the best estimate of when to start the journey through the sand. Apparently being down here the last few years has taught her how to ‘read’ the sandstorms so we can avoid them.” Murphy slid his arms through the pack and reached down to help Raven up. “It will be dark soon. We won’t be able to make a fire tonight but I don’t think that the Eligius crew will be that interested in exploring unknown areas with no daylight.”

 

Raven winced as she put her weight back onto both legs. Yeah, this wasn’t going to be easy. She needed to get back into a stretching routine, but for the next few days she could anticipate more pain than normal, both due to some nerve damage that she had probably sustained during the shock collar torture and from not keeping up with the strict yoga routine she’d created for herself in space. It didn’t help that she had forgotten how hard it was to balance on the uneven terrain of Earth - the Ring was full of smooth surfaces where she didn’t have to compensate as much for her damaged leg. 

 

She sensed Murphy’s eyes on her as she steeled herself for the remaining journey to come. She offered him a small smile, and was relieved when he returned it. 

 

“Okay?” he asked, and she felt the need to reassure him. 

 

“Of course, because I’m  _ awesome _ !” Raven winked at Murphy and she felt a little flip in her belly when he winked back. 

 

**************************************

 

A few hours later, she was pretty sure that she had spoken too soon. She had gone from  _ awesome _ to  _ awful _ but was doing her best not to let it show. She was flooded with relief when she spotted a fallen tree and noticed Murphy slowed down his steps. 

 

“Yeah, this is it. We’ll be here for a while now. When I crossed over the sands to get here, I left another pack partially buried nearby. I’ll grab it - it has more water, some blankets, other supplies. You sit and get off your leg - I know it’s bothering you more than you’re letting on.” Murphy dragged over a small log to where she had basically just collapsed, and he lifted her ankle to raise her foot up. “Better try to keep the swelling down as much as we can. I’ll get the camp situated.”

 

Raven wanted to protest, to say that she could pull her own weight… but the truth was, she was exhausted and sore. And if Murphy wanted to do this for her, why shouldn’t she let him? She knew that if the situation was reversed and he needed the rest, she’d willingly take care of him too. “Thanks, Murphy.” She smiled at him, and wondered what was happening back at Shallow Valley. Had Abby gotten in trouble over her disappearance? Did Echo know she was with Murphy? And Shaw - was he thinking about her and hoping she escaped, or was he still holding a grudge over what she and Echo had done? She leaned her head back on the trunk and let her thoughts carry her away. 

 

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but she must have fallen asleep, because Murphy was rubbing her arm and calling her name. He had two plates piled with berries, more apple slices, leaves and some kind of jerky and he placed one next to her. By now it was full dark, and the tree canopy concealed much of the night sky. She tore into the food voraciously, giggling a little at her lack of self-control. 

 

“As much as I complained about Monty’s algae, I really did forget how enjoyable it is to actually  _ eat _ . I can’t believe how amazing it is to taste all these flavors.” She was talking with her mouth full again, but she didn’t think Murphy minded. 

 

“Yeah, well don’t think this is how it’ll be in Polis. They have more variety than we did on the Ring, but it’s definitely not on par with Shallow Valley or what we could forage for here in the woods. We’ll also have to ration a little bit to make sure we have enough food & water to get through the sands. So try to fill up now - there’s more berries around here and probably more edible leaves too - we can get more in the morning.” 

 

They chewed in a companionable silence and it wasn’t long before they were both finished and passed the canteen between them. She was surprised to notice that the water had a delicious minty tang that wasn’t there before, one that reminded her of a time that seemed a lifetime ago. Murphy must have been watching for her reaction, because he explained. “Clarke remembered how much you liked mint leaves, so she packed some for you from her own supplies.”

 

At that, Raven didn’t know if it was a laugh or a sob that escaped her throat. “I can’t wait to see her.” She hums and squeezes her eyes shut. She didn’t want to cry, thinking of Clarke. She turned to Murphy. “Can you believe we’re really here? That we finally got down to Earth? I know it’s not exactly going like we dreamed, but there were times I really wondered if it was ever going to happen. I actually had a few moments where I was pretty convinced it was  _ never _ going to happen, did you?”

 

“No, not really. I always knew you’d find some way to get us back, even when you were frustrated and spent most of your days scowling at everyone. I mean, look at all the evidence that points to Raven Reyes solving problem after problem on Earth and in space. We’d all be dead a few times over if you hadn’t come up with a bunch of plans to save our asses. I don’t know why you doubted yourself.”

 

Raven felt her cheeks heating up at Murphy’s words. It warmed her, to know that Murphy’s trust in her abilities hadn’t wavered. “Murphy, don’t tell me you’re getting soft in your old age! That almost sounded like a compliment.”

 

Murphy’s lips twisted into his familiar smirk. “C’mon, Reyes, everybody knows you’re the brain of our little delinquent group, and the rest of us are just here to serve.” 

 

She shrugs and gathers his empty plate, wiping them off with a small rag. “Who am I to pass up such devotion? Besides, I can’t help that whatever genetics I’ve got resulted in this package of fantastic.” She let her hand slide down her side as if to say, see, I just can’t help it. 

 

His eyes followed the movement of her hand before flicking back up to her face. She wasn’t sure, with the darkness around them, but there was a glimpse of something burning in his eyes as he watched her.  “And modesty too. If only we all could be so fortunate.” He abruptly rolled to his feet, gesturing off into the trees. “Head that way if you want the facilities before bed. I’m going to take watch for a while just to make sure no one’s close, but I set quite a few snares around that will make noise if they’re triggered, so we should both be able to get some rest tonight.” He wandered off into the trees without a look back. 

 

Raven felt a little disconcerted. She and Murphy had built a solid friendship between them over the years, based on a shared love for insults, sarcasm and a willingness to be brutally honest with each other. He was dependable, unpretentious, and surprisingly funny. He made her laugh when she was taking things too seriously and she looked forward to spending time with him. They had a mutual habit of zoning out and rolling their eyes together whenever Bellamy would get up on his soapbox during the long years in space, but she knew she and Murphy both would have had some harsh words for anyone else who dared such insolence. Bellamy was like the sibling that  _ they _ were allowed to mock, but no one else. Now that she thought about it, he’d really become her closest friend out of everyone on the Ring. They had come a long way since they had first met, but she wasn’t as surprised about their friendship as maybe others would have been. Even when she had had so much anger towards him for shooting her, she knew he had regretted that she had gotten caught up in his wrath, and he had tried, in his way, to make amends. She had long since forgiven him for that, and anyway, she knew her own actions towards Murphy hadn’t always been fair either. 

 

But in hindsight, things had been more strained between she and Murphy since the last break-up between him and Emori. They had been on again and off again more times than she could count in the six years they spent in space together, and she had always played the arbitrator between the two. But then Emori had asked if she could move in to Raven’s room, and things had seemed more final than ever before. She wasn’t sure what had happened between them, but Murphy had isolated himself more and more, and while she had to laugh at his ability to ‘steal’ one whole half of the ship for himself, it had hurt that he had rebuffed her attempts to draw him out. When he had unexpectedly decided to stay behind with her while the others attempted to make it down to Earth, she had both wanted to strangle him and hug him fiercely for not leaving her alone. 

 

Then despite the heavy responsibility on their shoulders, they had fallen back into their normal routine - having fun, hurling insults and enjoying each other’s company again. She had her friend back and she couldn’t regret that even though part of her wished he was safe on the ground with the others. And when he had told her that he’d take the burden of killing all the prisoners if it had to be done… well, she didn’t even know how to respond to that. It was an incredible gift he was giving her and she was so grateful that all the words she could think to say got stuck in her throat. Of course, everything went to shit soon after that and then sheer terror was her mindset for a while. 

 

She shook her head, trying to shake the memories of their shared torture away. She gracelessly stood up and collected the remnants of their dinner, packing everything away into Murphy’s satchel in case they needed to make a quick getaway during the night. She limped closer to the fallen tree trunk and saw that close to the base, there was a rough hollow that had been dug out from the dirt that must have happened when the tree crashed down. It was a tight space but she could understand why Murphy had chosen it. It was impossible to see until you were practically on top of it, and even then it was camouflaged with debris. If the two of them crawled into the hole and laid down, they would disappear from sight, and it was deep enough to stay dark and conceal any movement. Raven sighed. It was definitely less appealing than the cot she had been on just the night before, but to his credit, Murphy had strewn a pile of leaves around at the bottom and then covered them with a blanket, in hopes of making it at least slightly more comfortable. 

 

She walked off in the direction Murphy had pointed to for bathroom purposes, and when she returned, he still hadn’t made an appearance. She tossed the backpack into the hollow and lowered herself down after it. She found another folded blanket on top of the one that had been spread out, pulled it over herself in anticipation of a cold night and tried to find a cozy position. She could tell it was going to be kind of awkward once Murphy descended into the space but there was nothing to be done about it. Honestly, without the shared body heat they’d both probably suffer. She could totally be mature about it and not be on edge over having to sleep with someone else for the first time in six plus years of her life.  _ Get a grip, Raven _ , she told herself.  _ You fell asleep watching movies a few times on the Ring and you weren’t alone. Once you even woke up in the middle of the night to find that your head was on Murphy’s shoulder and you had drooled all over his shirt. But we weren’t alone then _ , she remembered. Emori had been on Murphy’s other side that night. Raven sighed and mentally chastised herself. It was fine and she was making a big deal about nothing. Best to just go to sleep and give her leg a rest. She pulled the blanket higher to her chin and closed her eyes. 

 

It might have been about an hour later when Murphy cautiously crawled in next to her. Her eyes immediately shot open. She wasn’t sure if  _ awkward  _ even covered it - when the hell had he gotten so large? It was like he sucked up all the space available and she could swear that the temperature in the dirt-lined hideout ratcheted up sharply. 

 

“Sorry it’s so close in here.” He whispered as he tried to settle in. “Best I could find on short notice.”

 

“It’s okay.” She squeaked, then licked her lips and tried again. “But I think if this is going to work, we’re both going to have to lay on our sides.” She heard Murphy hum in agreement and she rolled from her back to her right side. At least this position would also take a little weight off her left leg. She was aware of Murphy moving behind her and she felt him tug the blanket to adjust it over both of them. She realized with embarrassment that her heart was wildly hammering in her chest and she hoped he couldn’t hear it. Yeah, falling asleep like this was pretty unlikely. She felt tense all over and tried to remind herself it was only  _ Murphy _ , for god’s sake. 

 

Murphy slung his left arm around her waist and his voice rumbled low in her ear. “Alright, Reyes, let’s just both acknowledge this is a little weird. Close your eyes and pretend you’re dreaming about Roan or some shit.” And Raven literally snorted in response. 

 

“Oh my god, Murphy, what the hell!” She half turned to look over her shoulder at him in disbelief. 

 

“Hey, the guy was hot! Even I can admit that. Nothing wrong with a few fantasies. He liked to wear fur - lots of people like that kind of thing.” Raven burst out laughing at Murphy’s defensive justification for finding Roan sexy, but he wasn’t wrong. She moved her arm over his where it rested along her waist and pinched his wrist, her lips curled in a fond smile. “You’re ridiculous.”

 

“Yeah, but you like it.” And he shifted just a fraction closer, his chest pressed to her back, and she thinks to herself  _ yes, I do like it _ , but she huffs indignantly instead of saying so. And as her eyes drift shut, she realizes she’s no longer tense. 

 

*******************************

 

Raven wakes abruptly and is momentarily unsure of where she is. It comes back to her when she feels Murphy’s strong body stretched out behind her. She doesn’t know why she woke up so unexpectedly, considering she’s actually very comfortable and warm under the blanket and with Murphy’s arm along her waist still. But then she hears it, the sharp intake of air and the slight whine that rips from Murphy’s throat, and she realizes he must be having a nightmare. She tries to turn towards him to see if she can calm him, but his arm tenses at her hip and pins her firmly down. She uses her own arm to gently lift his, and rolls over in his embrace to face him and squeeze his shoulder. “Murphy, Murphy, it’s okay, wake up.” 

 

His legs twitch against hers and as she repeats his name, she can feel his whole body stiffen as he suddenly wakes. She can’t see them, but Raven knows his eyes are frantic. “Hey, you must have been having a bad dream. Are you okay?” She wants to soothe him but knows her own nightmares are a sensitive subject for her, so she decides in advance not to take offense if he won’t open up. 

 

“Sorry I woke you.” And there’s that unyielding tone in his gruff voice again, and she knows it means he doesn’t want to talk about it. “I’ll be fine.” Raven can just imagine the hard set to his jaw, his face all sharp lines and angles, so she rubs her hands along his arms, knowing it will make her feel better too. 

 

“I have them too, you know...about lots of things.” Her voice feels thick and she squeezes her eyes shut. “About the Mountain Men taking my bone marrow… when Lexa thought I tried to poison her and then she cut me over and over... _ everything _ with A.L.I.E... what happened to Finn, to Sinclair, what I thought happened to Clarke… and I didn’t see it, but I know what happened to Luna and I  _ miss  _ her, I miss them all! And then I was so sc-scared of McCreary and I thought he was going to kill you...” She fists her hands to her eyes, spent, and feels Murphy gently tip her head against his shoulder, and then she can’t help it, she just sobs and the tears pour out. He rubs her back and lets her grieve, and after an inordinate amount of time, she feels like even though her eyes hurt and her throat is sore, she actually feels  _ better _ somehow. 

 

Raven sniffs self-consciously. “Well, that got out of hand. I was trying to make  _ you _ feel better.”

 

Murphy breathes out a low sigh and the hand at her neck brushes gently through her hair. “You did make me feel better, even though I wish those things didn’t happen to you. The most important thing is that you made it through all of that, Raven, you’re alive, and you didn’t let any of those things break you. Instead of pulling you down, you took all that pain and forced it to make you stronger. It’s one of the things I admire most about you, you know, that you always get back up again.”

 

She wishes she could see his face, wishes he could see hers. She’s incredibly moved by his words, and just can’t help herself when she speaks softly into the darkness. “Said the cockroach to the raven.”

 

And Raven just knows he’s got that familiar smirk on his face when he chuckles in her ear and nudges her shoulder. “Roll over again, it’s better for your leg.” So she does what he says and turns to her right side and he follows behind her. He smoothes all the hair off her back so he won’t lay on it and his forehead dips to her shoulder as his arms enfold her once more. She impulsively presses her hand to his where it rests on her stomach and laces their fingers together. Raven squeezes once and Murphy squeezes back, and she falls asleep with a smile on her face. 

 

****************************

  
  


When Raven wakes again, she knows it’s morning. The sun shines bright enough to filter down beneath the fallen tree, and she hears birds singing above her. Murphy’s no longer at her back, and while she feels chilly without him there, she has enough residual embarrassment from her much-needed breakdown that she’s glad she has a few moments to compose herself alone. With only one person in the hollow, there’s enough room to do some of her favorite stretches, so she gets to work. If Murphy was right and they had to stick around one more day in the woods before the window opened to cross the sands, then she could prop her leg up and hopefully take it easy, since she knew the sand crossing was going to be really tough for her physically. 

 

She climbs out of the hideout and doesn’t spot Murphy, but after she returns from a bathroom break she does see a covered plate near the log she had her leg up on the evening before. She lifts the cloth and there’s more berries, some nuts and a root-like item that could be a plant or vegetable, she doesn’t know. It’s crunchy and a little salty and she likes it. She wonders if Murphy had packed it or found it in the forest. She needs to ask him to share some of his foraging skills so they can refill their pack. 

 

Raven settles in with her back against a tree, puts her leg up and eats her breakfast while trying to finger comb the snarls out of her hair. She rifles through the satchel and finds the small stash of mint leaves Clarke sent for her and pops a few in her mouth once she’s finished. The taste conjures such strong memories of how she and Clarke would make a point of having a meal together as often as they could, to touch base and catch up on each of their projects and problems. She’d never had a female friend like Clarke before, and despite forging friendships with Harper, Emori and Echo on the Ring, she and Clarke had a bond that she couldn’t wait to continue. She looked up when a few leaves rustled and saw that Murphy was coming back towards their camp, a cloth sack in his hand. 

 

“You look like you’re in a good mood this morning.” He reached into the bag and grabbed a handful of what was inside, and she could make out some purple berries instead of the remaining red berries left on her plate. 

 

“Just thinking about how excited I am to see Clarke again. Has she changed? Does she look the same? Echo told me about Madi - did you see her in Polis?” Raven is taken aback when a grimace flits across Murphy’s face at this question. 

 

“Oh, I met her alright, but it was in the woods soon after I left you behind. She made some crack about how she thought I’d be funnier and Octavia was her favorite. Apparently Clarke’s told her stories.” Murphy actually lifted his hands and put air quotes around “stories”, and Raven knew immediately that Murphy was offended that Madi didn’t choose him as her favorite. She laughed so hard that her eyes watered, and at his annoyed expression she figured she should appease him. 

 

“Look at it this way - for Madi to assume you’d be ‘funnier’, that at least has to mean that Clarke told her you were funny to begin with. And you  _ had _ just been tortured almost to the point of death, so it’s a given you weren’t at your best.” Raven meant the words somewhat tongue in cheek, but Murphy obviously was placated by them and brightened, which made Raven snort but she tried to cover it up into a cough instead. 

 

Murphy sent a concerned look her way, but when she returned to calmly wiping off the plate from her breakfast, he pulled out a map from his shirt pocket. “From what Clarke told me, I figure we need to head out tomorrow around five or six in the morning. If we start that early we can probably rest during the hottest part of the day. That means we’ve got to top off our food and water supplies by tonight as well as make sure no one’s tracking us.”

 

Raven’s mouth pursed a little with frustration and she looked at him with worry in her eyes. “Murphy… I hate to admit it, but I’m concerned with how I’m going to function, trying to trudge through the sand with my leg. I think the shock collar might have damaged some of the nerves in my lower back and leg again, and I’ve been having trouble adjusting quickly to the uneven ground down here. For years I’ve been walking on smooth & level surfaces on the Ring, and it’s going to take me longer than a few days to get a feeling of balance back.” She was relieved when Murphy’s expression didn’t change to any kind of pity, but instead looked thoughtful. 

 

“I could tell your leg was bothering you, but I thought it was all due to the shock collar. I didn’t make the connection to the rough surfaces down here… the sand is probably going to be an issue then, at least until you’re more used to this terrain. It wouldn’t really be a problem how fast we move, but for now we’re on a time limit because of the sandstorms Clarke’s told me about.” He stood and paced around the trees in front of her, clearly focused on a solution to her problem. He shrugged. “We don’t have to cross the whole desert area. I’ve already passed through it with Emori and on the way back here for you, and Clarke’s done it enough times to know how to do it right. It’s not a horrible trip, just hot and gritty. I could just carry you when you get too tired.”

 

Raven rolled her eyes. “No, you cannot ‘just carry me’. What if we’re being followed or something goes wrong? I’m not exactly a feather, nitwit. Besides, I have a better idea.”

 

“Yes, please inform the nitwit of your perfect plan, oh wise one!” Murphy drawled, voice thick with sarcasm. 

 

“Okay, okay, I laid that one on a little thick. If you can find some branches of consistent size, I can make a stretcher of sorts with one of the blankets and some of the rope I saw in the pack. It would mean potentially pulling me over the sand when I can’t do it anymore, but it’ll be less strain than carrying all my weight.”

 

“Alright, I’ll get on that, but while I go look for branches and scout more berries or leaves, you can’t sit out here alone. I want you to go back under the tree until I return.”

 

“Ugh, Murphy, I don’t want to do that.” Raven whined, and yeah, she realized she was being ridiculous but she had the knife and the gun he had given her, and she knew how to use them. 

 

“Do you think I care more about your safety or what you want? You’re not gonna win this one either, so you might as well just suck it up.” There was that obstinate Murphy tone again. He had the gall to look at her somewhat innocently, but he must have seen the frustration on her face. “Look, I made it appear like we went towards the caves, but I don’t know who Diyoza sent after you. There might be a few smarter ones who won’t fall for the fake trail, and you just admitted to me that your leg isn’t at its best. No way I’m gonna leave you here for some criminal to sneak up on you while I’m not on guard. We don’t have a saw and it might take me awhile to find fallen branches that are long enough and sturdy enough for a stretcher. Can you please just humor me here, Reyes?”

 

And at that ‘please’, she knows she’s giving in. But that doesn’t mean she has to make it easy, so she huffs at Murphy like he’s the most unreasonable man she’s ever met, and that might not be too far from the truth anyway, come to think of it. She makes a point to grumble under her breath as she collects the plate and makes sure she doesn’t leave anything else around where she was sitting, and shuffles over to the hideout yet  _ again _ . Before she can climb under, Murphy’s hand glides along her shoulder in a firm stroke. Raven stills and his hand doesn’t move away as he demonstrates the bird call he’ll give when he comes back into range so she’ll know it’s him. 

 

“I’m gonna add a few dead branches around this opening and use some leaves to sweep over any footprints we’ve left around here, then I’ll be off. You can’t fall asleep, Raven, promise me. If you hear anything without the bird call then you know it’s not me and you have to be prepared to kill whoever it is, okay?”

 

“Murphy, your overprotectiveness is bordering on preposterous right now, you know that, right? I’m totally capable of sitting in a hole, being quiet and waiting for you. And if it comes to it, of course I’m gonna kill whoever I have to. I am not without skills.” She reached up and patted the hand that still rested on her shoulder with her own to reassure him. 

 

“Yeah, I know I’m being an idiot right now. I’m actually embarrassed for myself.” His grip tightened on her shoulder and he seemed to take a moment to compose himself. His eyes found hers and there was an awful, lost glint in them. “I could hear you screaming the whole time, and I couldn’t get to you even though I tried, I tried. I can’t let that happen again.”

 

Immediately, she knew he meant what McCreary had done to her. It must have been horrible for him to hear her - the agony she had felt had been brutal, and she’s sure he heard that from her screams. She desperately threw her arms around his waist, crushing herself to his chest and wishing she could just knock the memory right out of him. “It wasn’t your fault, Murphy, don’t think about that. You  _ did _ help me - as soon as you came in the room I didn’t get shocked any more. Last night you said it, that I got through it and I’m still alive and so are you!  And with McCreary, this time we got through it together. We got through it, it’s done. Don’t give that nightmare more energy.” She felt him shudder against her and knew that if McCreary was still alive when they got to Polis, she might just kill him herself. 

 

Murphy steadied himself and she could practically see the determination in his posture. Raven nudged his chest with her head and he grunted in response, telling her in his way that he’d be alright. But his arms were still too unyielding around her and she knew the moment needed some levity to help him relax, so she forced a smug tone into her voice. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say someone had been taking some detailed notes during a few of Bellamy’s more dramatic moments.”

 

Murphy let out a half irritated, half amused “Fuck you, Reyes!” And bullseye, she had hit her target. 

 

She twisted out of his arms and back towards the hole where she’d be spending the next few hours alone, and cheerfully called out. “Yeah, I know, everybody wants to.”

 

And because she wasn’t watching, she missed the look of desire that flashed across Murphy’s face. 

  
  


****************************

 

The rest of the day passed by without incident. Raven did her best with some yoga moves in the confined space, though she was bored, and Murphy eventually returned with the branches and more of the berries, leaves and odd plant root/vegetable that Raven had eaten that morning. Raven had quietly worked on tying the branches to each other to make the stretcher while Murphy catnapped beside her. 

 

They ate a small dinner, and Raven had expressed her unease that they hadn’t seen any Eligius trackers after them. Murphy had explained that they wouldn’t have known that she knew which area of the forest was closest to the sands, and that by now, there were multiple trails in the trees created by him, Echo, Monty, Harper, Emori and even Madi and the Rover. Add to that Murphy’s false trails to the caves and maybe she didn’t need to worry about it after all. Then, after dinner, Murphy left their camp briefly and came back with some of the same purple berries from the morning, and a few large green leaves that she hadn’t seen before. 

 

He used two of the sandwiched leaves to crush some of the berries, and he let the juice that was released run into his cupped hand. He pinched some dirt into the berry juice and stirred it with his finger until it turned into a sort of paste. “This is easier with a bowl, but do you remember how members of Trikru would paint their faces, especially around the eyes?”

 

“Of course. Lexa always looked pretty wicked when she did that.”

 

Murphy laughed. “Yeah, she did look intense. But it’s for more than just intimidation. It’s going to help our eyes adjust to the bright sunlight over the sand, and it’ll help cut down the glare, making it easier to see anyone or anything in the distance. I forgot about this on the hike here and my eyes watered the whole time. Plus, and this might not matter to your lovely coffee colored skin, but it’ll help my pale face not to burn.” His eyebrow raised in a mocking way and he gestured for her to add to the paste in his hand. “We don’t have a mirror, so use what’s here and paint some around my eyes, then I’ll do you. We won’t have time in the morning unless we get up even earlier. And  _ don’t _ make mine girly.”

 

Raven squealed with naughty glee. “That’s true, we  _ don’t _ have a mirror. So how will you know if yours ends up girly or not?”

 

“I’ll know.” Murphy growled, and though she was  _ so  _ tempted, she figured Bellamy would just tattle on her when they reached Polis. She mixed more of the crushed berries and dirt in Murphy’s palm, and set to work. As she painted a mask on Murphy’s face, she noticed he kept his eyes closed while her fingers drifted across his skin, and she felt a little more daring, knowing he probably wouldn’t look at her when she asked something she’d been wondering about for a while now. 

 

“Murphy… can I ask you something?”

 

“You can  _ ask _ .” His voice was brusque, but she bit her lip and pressed on. 

 

“When we were on the Ring, after you and Emori broke up and you isolated yourself away from the rest of us, how come you kept ignoring me every time I tried to come talk to you?” 

 

She watched him take a heavy breath but his eyes stayed shut. “I was too stuck in my head then. None of it was personal, but I was in a bad place mentally. I don’t do so well being closed in, without things to distract me from my mind taking over. I read everything at least 100 times over up there, just trying to stave it all off. And that’s exactly what space was for me - suffocating and didn’t keep me busy enough to stay outta my own head. Emori and I got together for the right reasons, but we stayed together for the wrong ones. We care about each other but I made her my distraction, my focus, and that wasn’t healthy for either of us. It’s why we worked better on the ground, why I work better on the ground. Because here there’s always something to do, to solve, to distract, to interest me. It’s not the same thing all the time like it was up there. I’m honestly surprised it took me that long to finally crack.” Her fingers continued to shade in the dark berry juice, and she thought about what he confessed. 

 

“Could I have helped you?” She finally said out loud. 

 

Murphy opened his eyes and she could see the truth in them. “I think you could have, but I wouldn’t have let you.” She nodded slowly, understanding that he had been more broken towards the end of their time on the Ring than she had thought. 

 

“It’s a good thing we got out of there then.” She smoothed the last of the berry paste under his eye and over his nose. “You look like some kind of masked bandit, but it’s unknown whether you’re the hero or the villain of the piece.” 

 

He smirked at her. “Perfect then, since I never know myself.” He wiped his hand on the grass and grabbed her palm. “Hold this out and I’ll make more for you.” After he mixed more of the crushed berries, he deliberately swiped it under her eyebrow and she closed her own eyes in response. He labored silently for a little while and she enjoyed the ticklish feel of the berry paste drying on her skin. 

 

“When I left you behind with Shaw, it didn’t take me that long to find Echo and the rest in the woods. They were definitely watching for us. We all got in the Rover and headed towards Bellamy to warn him, but during the drive the shock collar kicked in. Monty, that adorable softy, wanted to try and take it off right then, but you know Echo’s the voice of reason who told him we didn’t have time.” Raven smiled at that, knowing the description of both their friends was correct. 

 

Murphy continued. “I got out and told them to go on without me, but I was surprised that Emori chose to stay behind too. She had some tools with her, because you know you nagged her to do it until she listened. And lucky for me that you did, because she managed to get the collar off. But  _ not _ without a few shocks first, FYI. It was okay though, because we talked a little while she was working on getting it off. Unfortunately, we got boxed in by McCreary and that’s when we put together that small bomb that killed ‘em all off except that fucker.” She knew her own jaw clenched when he mentioned that name, and she felt his thumb sweep over her chin to ease her. “When the bomb successfully went off, I think we were both excited that it worked. I don’t really know which one of us moved first but we kissed. It was only when Emori noticed McCreary moving that we stopped. And I surprised the hell out of myself because I realized I was  _ relieved  _ we stopped. I think that’s what happened too many times before - we both just fell back into habits with each other. This time we’re broken up for good and we both know it, and we’re both okay with that finally.”

 

Raven opened her eyes since Murphy had stopped painting. “You know Emori is my friend too. I want you both to be happy. If the two of you couldn’t get along, I’d be pretty sad about it, but I’d keep trying to at least get you to make up enough that you could be in the same room together. It’s better for all of us if you can do that on your own though.”

 

“Kinda like what you want to happen with Bellamy and Echo, isn’t it?” Raven’s eyes widen at Murphy’s sly question. Damned if that wasn’t something she’d been trying to avoid thinking about once the ramifications of hearing Clarke’s voiced had flickered through her brain. 

 

“Murphy, you are far more in tune with things than people give you credit for, you sneaky little romantic!” Raven accused him. 

 

“Hey now, don’t go blowing my rude jackass cover! I like pissing people off! But clearly… Bellamy and Clarke have been making heart eyes at each other since the Dropship all those years ago. No matter how much he protested, those two were never ‘just friends.’” 

 

“Oh. My. God. I am  _ never _ going to let you live this down. You said ‘heart eyes’ and you weren’t even being facetious! What is happening right now? Who are you and what have you done with the real John Murphy?” Raven thought it was hilarious that of all people,  _ Murphy _ was actually rooting for Bellamy and Clarke. And he pretended to be so careless all the time! She knew he was just a big softy underneath all those thorns!

 

Murphy laughed along with her and used the last of the berry mixture to make two little whorls just under her eyes and curving in towards her cheeks. “There. Pretty wicked. Let’s clean up camp and get some rest. We have a long day tomorrow.” Raven found herself hoping that the berry juice would stain for a while. She wanted to see herself in a mirror, of course, but there was no denying Murphy looked good with eye makeup. 

 

*************************

 

Murphy had put all their supplies in reach and had camouflaged the stretcher up in a nearby tree. Even she could barely spot it and she had known it was there. The air had turned cooler than the previous night and by the time she crawled into their tiny bunker, her skin was covered in goosebumps. She pulled the blanket tighter around herself and marvelled that tomorrow afternoon, she’d probably be sweating profusely in the bright sun. 

 

Raven stretched out in the small space while she was alone. It was hard to believe that so much had happened in what had been only a few days. Although she and Murphy were technically ‘on the run’, the quieter time together had allowed her a much needed decompression period. She counted Murphy as a friend long before this, probably even her best friend, but there was no denying they had grown closer since he chose to stay on the Eligius with her. She laughed bleakly to herself.  _ Guess joint fear and a shared torture session go a long way towards weaving a stronger bond _ . Yet it was more than that, she knew. Murphy was clearly on to something when he told her that he did better on the ground instead of being closed up in space. He seemed more open, more relaxed even, despite the danger they had been in since they landed on Earth. Maybe it was like when she got caught up in a project, where everything was flowing and she knew she was doing what she did best… maybe Murphy had finally gotten back to the environment where he felt right. 

 

She thought in particular about how he seemed more agreeable to physical touch on the ground as well, but she supposed that probably applied to her too. Raven considered herself to be an affectionate person, but she had experienced more hugs and contact with Murphy and Abby in the last couple of days than the entire six years she had spent in space - well, outside of exercise or the sparring lessons with Echo, anyway. Why had she denied that part of herself when she was clearly enjoying it so much now? She deflated a bit when she realized that she hadn’t liked to acknowledge it, but she often felt like a lonely seventh wheel on the Ring. Yeah, Bellamy and Echo hadn’t gotten together until the first three years had passed, but everyone had seemed so coupled up. Despite having slept with Bellamy a million years ago, that had been a one-time thing that honestly was more an act of revenge on her part, not major interest. Sure, she wasn’t  _ blind _ \- Bellamy was definitely hot - but in her mind, he was Clarke’s, and even though she didn’t know Clarke was still alive, she just didn’t think about him like that. And okay, maybe there had been one or two interesting dreams about Monty, but for god’s sake there were only three men on the Ring for six years, after all, and a girl had needs. She loved him and Harper together and there was nothing real about her thoughts. The couple had always made her feel welcome in their company and they deserved so much happiness after everything they had gone through. 

 

Raven didn’t know if Murphy had somehow examined her private thoughts or what, but he had actually hit the nail on the head when he teased her about dreaming of Roan. The King of Azgeda was almost always the star of her sexual fantasies when she had needed a release, and it was easy for her to understand why. Roan had been crazy attractive, and she didn’t actually know him very well, so she could imagine his personality any way she wanted to. And if Luna had turned up amongst some of those fantasies too? Well, that was nobody’s business except her own. 

 

But never, not once, had she thought about Murphy that way. Realizing that felt strange, somehow. How could she not have had a sexual dream about him when they were stuck in space for so long together? Her forehead scrunched in concentration as she considered this new thought. It wasn’t that she didn’t find him attractive, because again, she wasn’t  _ blind _ . He had those expressive, compelling blue eyes that got an evil little glint in them right before he opened his mouth and said something horrible and offensive but also probably true. And he had that face with all those hard lines and sharp edges that somehow came together in such an appealing way. She liked that she had to tilt her head to look up at him when they stood near each other, she liked that she could always be herself with him, she liked the way he nagged her to have a little fun when she got too deep into her work, she liked all their inside jokes, she liked that she could get mad at him and he could get mad at her but they never held a grudge, she liked that they both got annoyed by the same things and their eyes would meet and they could have a whole conversation about it without saying a word, she liked that sexy little smirk he had and the way it would send a coil of heat through her blood, and  _ Oh My Fucking God _ ! She was the _ stupidest _ fucking genius on the planet! Raven dropped her head to her hands as she realized she had never had a sex dream about Murphy because she had never  _ let _ herself. 

 

This… this was definitely confusing. She was friends with Emori. She was friends with Murphy. And they had been a couple on the Ring, even though a lot of it was on and off. And she didn’t ever think about Murphy like that because Raven  _ was _ a friend, and a good one. She would never have done anything about her feelings, so she had compartmentalized them so much that she hadn’t even fully acknowledged how she felt inside her own head. But now they were practically exploding through her brain with the obviousness of them and damn, she guessed she  _ was _ sort of blind for not seeing it sooner. How had she  _ missed _ this when it now seemed so noticeable as she thought back over their interactions together? Had she been  _ flirting  _ with  _ Murphy _ as much as her memories now seemed to suggest? “ _ She doesn’t know you like I do” _ suddenly ran on a loop through her brain. And oh my god, worse - better? - had Murphy been flirting with  _ her _ sometimes?  _ Fuck _ , she wished she could talk to Clarke right now. 

 

She looked up guiltily when she heard Murphy climb down, but it had gotten dark enough outside to mean that it was gloomy in the dirt covered walls of their hideout, and she was glad for that slight reprieve. He lay down again behind her, but on his back and without touching this time. “You okay?” She sensed the concern in his voice, and she flashed back to that moment right after she’d pleaded for his life. 

 

“Yep.” She managed to lie without a crack in her voice, but she knew he wasn’t going to buy it. “Everything’s all...it’s just been a lot.” That part was certainly the truth. 

 

He edged closer and in one fluid movement, he rolled to his right side and pulled her back into his chest, then gently nudged one of his legs between hers. Raven no longer felt cold but she didn’t know if this feverish heat now running through her veins was actually an improvement. His arm moved beneath the blanket and she could tell he was touching the brace on her leg. 

 

“Would your leg feel better if we took the brace off tonight? Does massage help your nerve pain or increase it?”

 

“If I take the brace off, I won’t be able to get up without help, and I won’t have much mobility until I put it back on again. In space I used to take it off every night, but since we went to the Eligius and came down here, I haven’t done that because I’ve been afraid I’ll need to move without much warning. I’m not really sure whether the nerves can get better in any way. I mean, I rub my leg down myself but I’ve never noticed that it makes it ache less.”

 

“That’s something we should talk to Abby about, but I think we both want your leg to be in better shape for tomorrow, so let’s at least take the brace off so you get some relief. I’d do it for you but it’s hard to see in here and you’re more familiar with the latches.”

 

Raven leaned down and removed the brace and placed it alongside the pack. She shivered as the blanket slipped down and she lost the heat from Murphy’s body. She was torn - the realisation that she was attracted to Murphy in a sexual way both made her want to nuzzle closer to him as well as wish she had more privacy to sort out her feelings. The decision was made for her though, when Murphy reached up and encircled her wrist and pulled her back down against him. Her heart thudded in her chest and she hoped it wasn’t as loud as she feared it was. She bit her lip and tried to relax, but there was no ignoring his strong body pressed tightly behind her. Murphy’s leg had taken up its previous spot between hers, and the urge to shift her hip to get a little closer was so tempting. It was going to be a very long night, and if she wasn’t careful, she was going to end up making a fool of herself. 

 

“Reyes. I can practically hear how hard you’re thinking. Turn your brain off and get some sleep.” Murphy’s deep murmur served to bring her to her senses, and as his muscular arm around her waist drew her closer, she couldn’t help the little hum of satisfaction that escaped from her throat. 

 

“Goodnight, Murphy.”

 

Goodnight, Raven.”

 

***************************

 

Without warning, Raven awoke to a feeling of absolute panic. The darkness felt ominous around her and she was pinned down by a heavy body on top of hers and a tight hand was across her mouth. Her heart rate accelerated but as soon as she started to struggle, lips grazed her ear and a gravelly whisper that she felt more than heard rumbled through her. “Quiet. Don’t move.”

 

The knowledge that it was Murphy above her and not some faceless stranger had her body almost melting with relief, and she relaxed underneath him. Murphy’s body, however, was taut like a bowstring and was almost vibrating with tension. She strained her ears, trying to hear what had him on such high alert. She listened for what felt like ages but all she could hear was the rough sound of his breathing close to her ear, and the pounding of her heart at both the seriousness of the situation and the way that Murphy’s body covered hers. He was levered up over her on his forearms, and his forehead rested right near her temple. She closed her eyes and would not think about the way his hips tilted into hers. Absolutely would not.  _ Damn it, now was not the time for her to become some kind of wanton damsel in distress _ , she told herself.

 

She knew Murphy wouldn’t be acting like this unless there was a very real threat present, and she refused to be the reason something went wrong. She felt Murphy’s chest flatten down into her as he stretched his arm over her head then brought it back towards her side. He pressed the sturdy knife into her palm, then reached up again and she felt the small gun he had given her when they first escaped from Abby’s clinic join the knife. His mouth returned to her ear and she couldn’t help but shiver when he breathed out harshly “Stay. Kill anything that comes in here unless you hear my bird call.”

 

Raven nodded frantically and struggled to find his hand in the darkness. She clenched it in a hard squeeze before letting him go. With a quick rush of movement, Murphy was up and out of their burrow and she was left alone in the pitch black. She tried to calm her agitated breathing and deliberately forced her body to relax. She silently slid her foot towards her leg brace and managed to drag it close enough for her hand to grab. It was a risk fumbling around to put it on, but she wouldn’t be able to get up without it, and Echo had taught her that in a fight, she needed to put her body weight behind her attack. Raven had to prepare for whatever might come down into the hole, and she couldn’t let her worry for Murphy distract her. 

 

***********************

 

It seemed like hours, it must have been hours, that she’s been waiting for either a fight to the death or a sound from Murphy, and the mental strain has taken a toll. Raven’s fingers grip the knife handle so tightly that she can’t even unwrap them anymore unless she uses her other hand to pry them apart. Her whole body is stressed with the fight or flight sensation and she has no idea if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that it’s taking so long. It’s still full night out - she has no idea what time it could be, but she knows they went to bed early and maybe she hadn’t slept that long before being awoken with Murphy’s hand covering her mouth. Regardless, she’s full of adrenaline now no matter how late it is. She makes the effort to strain her ears again to try and hear something, anything - the crunch of leaves, the crack of a twig being stepped on, the sound of fighting... And that’s when it comes, but she can’t be sure she didn’t just imagine the sound out of a desire for it to be real. She cocks her head and hopes it will ring out again, and it does, that stupid whistling bird call, and she feels her legs tremble with relief. The call happens a few more times as he gets closer, and finally he drops down into their hideaway, taking up all the space again and landing just shy of where she’s pressed against the carved out side wall. 

 

Raven wants to reach for him, she does, but her body won’t respond, it’s frozen and she just ends up letting out a pained whimper instead. She feels his hand slide down her arm and carefully disengage her fingers from the knife, and there’s a dull thud as it lands in the dirt. Murphy places both hands on her shoulders and firmly pushes her low enough where she can sink to the floor, then he sits beside her and draws her hands and legs into his lap as he rubs her fingers. 

 

“You let yourself get too stiff. This is probably gonna hurt at first.” And oh, it does hurt, the pins and needles pricking under her skin, but that doesn’t matter right now so she licks her lips and tries to talk but her throat feels tight and there are cramps in her legs and the way Murphy’s rubbing her hands is making them sting so bad and she needs to know how he can be so calm and is he injured and what happened out there in the woods? She elbows him in the stomach with the arm that’s closest to him, letting him know she’s impatient. 

 

He leans forward over her arms and thighs and stretches to reach his pack. He pulls out the canteen and takes a long swallow before putting it to her lips and tipping it up for her to drink, then he resumes the massage on her palms and out to each finger. “I don’t know how long we were asleep, but I think I woke because I heard one of the noise traps I put up on the outskirts of camp. I rolled on you and covered your mouth to make sure you didn’t speak when I climbed out, and once I was on the ground, I got lucky and heard leaf movement so I followed in that direction. That guy wasn’t good at covering his tracks so I found him pretty fast. I wasn’t sure if there was anyone else so I circled back to see if you were still hidden and you were. But a few of the landmarks around camp were disturbed so I thought there might be at least one more. That guy was better. It took awhile. Then I waited to make sure he was the last one. I didn’t want to come back here if it wasn’t safe. ”

 

Raven could move her fingers again thanks to his ministrations, and she could feel the other scratchy blanket was wadded up behind her. She unfurled it and this time she maneuvered Murphy down so he laid on his back as she smoothed the blanket on top of him. Her legs twinged in protest, but she needed to stretch out and they both needed comfort from the other. She slid under the cover and tucked her head under his chin, along his left side so she could listen to his heartbeat. His arms curled around her and her hand fisted in his shirt. They lay like that for a long time in the hushed darkness, but Raven knew neither of them slept. 

 

Eventually Murphy spoke, but the words seemed dragged out of him. “I killed them both.”

 

She nodded and tilted her head up towards him, though she could barely see his face. “I know.” She moved her hand to rub circles on his forearm. 

 

Moments later, he continued. “I stalked them through the woods and it was like I remembered how to do everything from before. I slit their throats without a second thought.”

 

Raven sat up with a hand on his chest and looked down at him fiercely. “I know. And I’m glad you did. I’m glad you killed them and I won’t be sorry for it. They wanted to take me back to Diyoza and I would have been just another pawn for her to use in these terrible war games, and they would have killed you if they could. I won’t let you feel guilty for protecting me, for protecting  _ us _ . We’re fighters, Murphy, you and me both, and we’ll do whatever we have to because I can’t lose you.” 

 

His hand snakes up and tangles in the hair at the nape of her neck, slowly tugging her towards him until she feels his warm breath on her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere without you.” Then finally, amazingly, his lips are on hers and she can’t think, she can’t breathe, it’s like all her nerve endings have suddenly sparked awake. Her blood thrums through her veins and she’s on  _ fire _ and this is just a kiss and his hand moves to cradle her head and then he suddenly rolls her so she’s underneath him. And later, she’s going to think about that move and let it  _ do _ things to her, but for now she just mewls in her throat as his mouth devours her and trails kisses along her jawline towards her neck and every sensation feels so new, it’s been so long, and he’s already got her craving more more more. There’s one hand knotted in her hair and the other has slithered down to her hip and he’s caressing the bare skin there underneath her shirt and  _ damn it _ everywhere he touches is burning and making her want. She feels his teeth scrape her neck and she  _ moans  _ and her hips just buck up into his and she feels him smile wickedly against her hot skin. His mouth skims up to her earlobe and he bites down then sucks it between his lips and this kind of torment is what’s going to be the end of her, she knows it, but she can’t care when his breath ghosts over her ear and he practically purrs at her. “Tell me you want me to kiss you, Raven.”

 

And oh, of course, of course that devilish mouth of his has to get involved. She slides her hands under his shirt and scrapes her nails up his chest just hard enough to make him shudder and she doesn’t recognize her own voice when she tells him “You know I do.” Like a reward for her confession, Murphy nips and sucks his way back to her lips and the way he kisses her makes her forget her own name. His chest presses against hers and she wants more of his skin, she needs to feel more of him. She pushes his jacket off his shoulders as their tongues fight for dominance, and she wraps her leg around his hip as she tries to yank his shirt off. He rears up on his knees and pulls it over his head and she can see his pale skin gleam in the trace moonlight that has filtered into their shelter. She wishes it were brighter so she could see how their skin looked together but for now she leans forward and licks a stripe up Murphy’s chest and she swears he actually  _ growls _ at her as he ensnares both her wrists in one hand and lays her back against the blanket covered dirt floor. He raises her hands above her head as he attacks her mouth again and the heat radiating from his body is like a fever he’s so hot and she had no idea how much she’d like having her hands pinned, how did he even  _ know _ but she’s got to get these clothes off and get closer to him. So she writhes beneath him and lifts her breasts into his chest and his free hand brushes over her stomach where his thumb rubs a circle around her belly button then glides over to her hip and pulls her harder against him. And this is crazy that she’s so worked up and hasn’t even got any of her clothes off yet and hurry hurry  _ please _ take them off, she bites down on his bottom lip just enough to make him tighten his grip around her wrists and the hand on her hip slowly slowly moves to the zipper on her jacket and tugs it down. Her hands stay pinned and now he’s almost fucking  _ lazily _ sucking along her collarbone and she takes a gulp of air and whines at him. “Damn it, Murphy, hurry  _ up _ .”

 

He leans up and over her and his nose nuzzles her ear. “It’s cute that you think you’re in charge right now.” The pulsing heat at her core is throbbing so hard she thinks she might come just from the bossy rasp of his voice at her ear and how did she never imagine that it could be like this but he makes it even better by finally, finally getting her jacket over her arms followed by her shirt and there’s just her tank top left. He leans back down to capture her lips again and her arms go around his waist and just when it starts to get deliciously sloppy he pulls back and runs his fingers down her arm making her shiver, and he hisses in her ear again just to drive her mad. “I know how much you like having a well-thought out plan. Maybe I should tell you what I’m planning to do to you so you know what to expect.” And fuck, her panties are just soaked, he’s never going to let her live this down but god yes she wants him to tell her every naughty thing he wants to do to her. 

 

“If you ask me nicely, Raven, I’ll tell you.” She can  _ feel _ that sinful smirk of his on her neck, and damn that rotten bastard, he wants her to beg him. His hands run along the hem of her tank top and without warning he whips it up and over her head and then his body is surrounding her and he is scorching her with his heat and she will give him whatever he wants just to keep his skin against hers. 

 

She moves her lips up his neck and licks a path over to his chin, then lets herself get distracted for a moment at his ear. She runs her hands up his back and shoulders and pulls his head down towards hers. But she stops him just before their lips meet. When she speaks, her lips graze his and her voice is rough with desire. “Please tell me what you’re going to do to me, John.” She knows he likes when she breathes his name because his hands grip harder in her hair and on her neck and his mouth slants hard against hers. His hand on her neck glides down to her breast and his thumb rubs over her nipple. She almost screams at the sensation and how it sends an answering quiver straight to her sex. He bends his head and licks the other nipple and then all the way up her neck to her ear, all the while his hand in her hair tilts her head back and his other thumb rubs her breast. “First I’m going to make you come with my fingers. Then I’m going to taste you and feel you come on my tongue. And then I’m going to fuck the hell out of you and you’re going to come all over my cock.” 

 

As he whispers out his carnal words, Raven gasps and goes taut then flies apart in his arms. Her heart is thudding so hard she knows he can hear it and she can hardly breathe that was so intense and holy fuck he is a filthy wicked man and she has hit the damn jackpot. He’s going to be so, so smug about this but she’ll let him because oh he had every right to be conceited. 

 

Murphy lifts her thigh higher around his hip and rubs himself against her and she can feel the hot hard length of him through her clothes. “You didn’t follow my plan.” He accuses her, but she can hear the tease in his voice. 

 

She squirms against him and she knows he can feel the wetness that has soaked through everything she’s still wearing and she hears his smothered groan. She uses her hands to unbutton his pants and lifts herself up to bite his shoulder, then pulls him by the hair down demandingly towards her neck. “Maybe you better punish me so I learn my lesson.”

 

“Oh, fuck  _ yes _ , Raven.”

 

And then there’s no more talking for a while. 

 

**************************************

 

It’s not long before dawn and Raven should feel tired, but she wakes early and actually feels  _ rested _ for a change, not to mention completely and bonelessly relaxed. She blushed as she remembers how many times Murphy made her come and she wished they could ignore everything else and stay naked in their bunker all day, but she wriggles over in Murphy’s arms until she’s facing him so she can wake him up. In the thin light she can make out the berry juice mask, dark around his eyes, and she grinned as the sight of it sent a bolt of lust through her. She nibbles his chin and her hands play with the hair at the nape of his neck and he stretched alongside her as he grumbles. “It’s too damn early.”

 

“You know we have to start going through the sands today, much as I’d like to stay here.” 

 

Murphy’s blue eyes opened and regarded her solemnly. “Raven, last night when we first started kissing, I wanted to pause and ask if you were sure you wanted to keep going. We weren’t exactly starting with clear heads after what went down, and I didn’t want you to regret anything. But I wanted you too much and I let myself be selfish instead and didn’t stop to ask you.”

 

She has to swallow past the lump in her throat when he looks at her like that. “Murphy… it’s sweet of you to feel that way but I was there with you, you know. I wasn’t exactly stopping you, either. I’m a big girl, and I knew what I was doing. I think it was obvious I wanted you too. I’m not the kind of person to go along with something if I don’t want to do it, am I? For the record, I don’t even remotely regret having amazing sex with you last night, got it?” She was relieved to see that her words seemed to convince him as he got an amused look on his face. 

 

“Well if we’re going on record, I’d like it noted that I think we should do that again. And again. And then a million more times after that.”

 

Raven leaned up and murmured mischievously in his ear. “Just try and stop me.” But before he could grab her, she playfully yanked the blanket off him. “Now c’mon and get your gorgeous ass up! I can’t wait to see Clarke!”

 

*************************

 

It took them over two days to get across the blazing wasteland, much of it with Murphy pulling her on the stretcher almost like a sled. Trying to keep her balance on the shifting sands was impossible, and they realized that sand getting into the metal joints of her brace would be a nightmare, so she took it off and wrapped it in one of the blankets and resolved not to let herself get too frustrated about being helpless. Their food supply was actually pretty decent but they made a point of rationing the water, and when they took a break, Murphy would bury one end of the stretcher in the sand so it stood above them, then he’d lash a blanket to the supports to make something of a lean-to where there was a little shade. Other than the constant grit of the sand, the fiery sun and her inability to walk on her own, the journey could have been almost pleasant if not for Murphy’s constant worry about some kind of sandworm attack. He wouldn’t let them stay in one place for long and she didn’t know the details of what these sandworms could do, but if Murphy was concerned about it, they were probably pretty bad. 

 

When they finally reached the compacted dirt that surrounded Polis, Raven strapped her brace back on and they made their way towards the toppled tower. Monty was the first to see them and he called out for the others. He and Harper enveloped her in a big hug and she was surprised to feel tears sting in her eyes. Emori grabbed her next. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

 

Raven squeezed her firmly in return. “I knew you would get them down safely. I’m so proud of you.” Emori beamed at her and turned to tell Murphy that she was glad he didn’t die, and Raven could see Bellamy and Clarke coming towards them. 

 

Bellamy reached her first and lifted her off the ground in a huge bear hug. “I knew he’d find a way to get you out. We missed you around here.”

 

“I missed you too. And yeah, he was kind of a badass, but don’t tell him or it’ll go to his head.” Bellamy laughed, especially because Murphy was close enough to hear her remark, but now Clarke was standing in front of her and all Raven could do was stare. 

 

She didn’t know who moved first, but suddenly they lunged together and were holding on tight, and there was no stopping the tears and sobs from either of them. 

 

Bellamy sidled up to Murphy and bumped his shoulder as they both watched the happy reunion. “So I guess the hero thing is working out, huh? Although I can’t wait to hear how you convinced her to leave Echo, Abby and Kane behind.” 

 

Murphy scoffs fondly at him. “Fuck you, Bellamy. I am very charming and you know it.”

 

Clarke and Raven finally pull apart and Clarke grabs her hand. “Raven, I want you to come meet Madi.” They start to walk off together and Raven throws a glance and a radiant smile over her shoulder to make sure Murphy is coming along. 

 

Bellamy and Murphy fall into step behind the two. Bellamy raises an eyebrow at Murphy. “That’s an interesting development.”

 

Murphy smirks but his eyes are happy. “Yeah, it is. Now fill me in - did you propose to Clarke yet?”

**Author's Note:**

> I worked under the assumption that there is a plan for birth control in this world and that Murven had access to it. In real life, please practice safe sex habits, everyone! Been watching The 100 since the beginning and have shipped Murven from the Dropship. I was content to read what others wrote about them but their Season 5 arc has really inspired me. I started a tumblr (@easilydistractedbyfanfic), got an Ao3 account, and wrote three stories (this is #3) about them in the last couple of days. I have never written stories outside of school work but bam, here's 18k words for this couple. I'm too old to be staying up late to write fix-it love stories about two fictional characters, but I blame them. And I blame them HARD.


End file.
